Same-Sex Marriage at Ten

The New York TImes has been looking at same-sex marriage, as it turns ten in the United States. Ten years ago, on May 23, 2004, the Times published their first announcements of same-sex marriage ceremonies. In today’s paper, they looked at the five couples whose marriage announcements were in that 2004 edition of the newspaper. (I’m going to guess that they would have preferred to run this article back in May, but had trouble getting hold of someone.)

Ten years later, four of those couples are still together. The one that divorced was, ironically, the most famous of all. I have long suspected that Hillary and Julie Goodridge, the plaintiffs in Massachusetts, realized their relationship was over before the end of the court case, but also knew that if they broke up, it would render the case moot. They had gone on too far to say, “oh, we’ve decided we don’t care to get married after all, so just forget the whole thing.”

The Goodridges have a sense of humor about the reaction they received when they divorced:

“People were just so pissed off with us,” Hillary said, of when news of their divorce became public. “There were leaders in the G.L.B.T. community who said, ‘you’re ruining everything: we can’t believe you’re doing this.’”

And five years later?

“What are we at now, 19 states?” Hillary said, laughing. “Clearly we ruined the whole movement. Only 19. We’d have the whole nation if we didn’t separate.”

I found it amusing that Brad Reichard and Michael Shannon (the only two men in the five couples) find the word husband awkward. “‘Husband’ is a weird word, right?” the article quotes Reichard. I don’t know; I like it myself, and find the words they prefer, “spouse” and “partner” somewhat weird. Gentlemen, please, you’re husbands.

The saddest story is that of Mary Beth Caschetta and Meryl Cohen. Caschetta was disinherited by her father, “for reasons known to her,” though the article makes plain that Caschetta isn’t completely certain, though she’s described as having “theories.”

“Would I have been disinherited if I married my childhood sweetheart, who was a guy who lived down the street,” she said. “One hundred percent no.”

James and I are also part of the 2004 Club; our tenth wedding anniversary is coming soon. Much has changed in the last ten years, and one of the most surprising parts is that we have gone from just one state where same-sex couples could marry to nineteen. And more are sure to come.

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