Sunday, May 18, 2014

Weddings are just weddings for same-sex couples and planners too

“Our society has gotten to a point where it’s time to move the gay out of the gay weddings,” she said. “It’s just a wedding. I don’t want it to be, ‘Oh look, it’s a lesbian couple.’ I want it to be, ‘That was a gorgeous wedding, their dresses were amazing, look at those floral designs.’ ”
Brittny Drye, of the site Loveincmag.com, is quoted in a New York Times article on how wedding planners are ceasing to see anything different about planning a same-sex wedding. Ms. Drye once edited a site about same-sex weddings, but that distinction has lost relevance.

Likewise, Bernadette Smith of the site 14Stories.com, who has specialized in planning weddings for same-sex couples, has been finding that she's getting competition from planners who don't specialize.
Now, I can’t just get away with being a gay wedding planner, I have to be an excellent wedding planner.
 If I were an opponent of same-sex marriage, an article like this would strike fear into my heart. Of course, many of the opponents of same-sex marriage have just about thrown in the towel, apparently seeing their role now to delay the inevitable. (I really do hope that marriage equality is inevitable, that we have reached a tipping point. I eagerly await the day on which same-sex couples can marry in all fifty states. Would that day please hurry the hell up?)

As a fervent supporter of same-sex marriage, I see this change as part of the process of marriage for same-sex couples becoming part of the background. We've seen opinion on this issue change at a pace that surprised the pundits and caught activists on both sides off guard. (I really do think that the opponents of same-sex marriage thought they had locked into a steady gig, something that would carry them through to retirement.)

Just as wedding planners are saying to same-sex couples, "we plan weddings, we'll plan yours," I suspect that soon unlike the Oregon baker or the New Mexico photographer who citied religious reasons for declining to provide services to commitment ceremonies, instead planners, bakers, photographers, and the like will all be saying, "congratulations on your wedding, how can I help to make it special and memorable?" Or in other words, "hire me."

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